This Week, in Limerick: ¡Pared Para Trump!

ParedTrumpFEATURE

Wednesday, August 31

If Only
When Trump wanders down Mexico way,
Peña Nieto will say, “Don, okay!
We will pay for your wall,
And we’ll build it so tall
That you’ll never come back here. Olé!”

Tuesday, August 30 

Diagnosis
Dr. Bornstein (the Donald’s physician),
In his weird, overwrought composition,
Said the candidate’s wellness
Is all positive swellness.
He’s renowned as a diagnostician!

He sees nothing in Donald’s condition
To make anyone call a mortician.
Trump is sound and he’s wholesome
So let’s let him control some
Big-assed bombs full of nuclear fission.

Monday, August 29

Another Manic Monday
Welcome, Monday! ’Tis of thee I sing!
What fresh horror shall this new week bring?
Who will Donald manhandle?
A new Hillary scandal?
It might be anyone, anything!

Wait! There’s no need to wonder what’s next!
Have you heard about Weiner’s new sext?
Or that Huma will leave him—
That she’ll heave-ho and heave him?
(Why she stayed this long has us perplexed.)

Saturday, August 27

The New Guy
So the truth’s coming out about Steve.
Bannon’s rap sheet you just won’t believe:
Antisemite, wife beater,
And a voting-rolls cheater—
From such pricks I would like a reprieve!

Friday, August 26

There and Back Again
What’s it called when you flip-flop-flop-flip?
Is it called shooting “straight from the hip”—
Or “yourself in the foot”?
I am very hard put
To describe Donald’s recent round-trip.

James Waller is Mediander’s “Deadline Limericist.” (Apologies to Calvin Trillin, The Nation’longtime “Deadline Poet” and, in James’s opinion, a much more versatile versifier.)

Photo credit: Marco Ugarte/Associated Press