Thursday, August 25
Is Trump’s favorite music now hip-hop?
Does he now think that Hillary’s tip-top?
No, it’s on immigration
And on mass deportation
That the Donald’s now doing a flip-flop.
Donald just cannot turn off the spigot:
Now he calls Mrs. Clinton a bigot!
Just one more shibboleth—
She’s so sick she’s near death!
It’s not true? So who cares? Truth can frig it.
Tuesday, August 23
So now Ryan’s been booted by Speedo
For his pissing all over its creed-o.
And by Ralph Lauren, too.
And by Airweave. (Er, who?)
Yes, from Ryan there is a stampede-o.
Hillary Waxes Nostalgic
Electronic mail is such a fetter.
Let’s go back to the days of the letter.
You could hide it or burn it
So that nobody’d learn it.
Oh, the letter was very much better.
Monday, August 22
What’s the lowdown on Mika and Joe?
Donald Trump will be letting us know.
Are they each other’s squeeze?
That would be the bee’s knees!
Or are both maybe on the down-low?
We all knew that the Donald’s a shyster
And that he is, in business, a heister.
But this news, via Twitter,
Makes us giggle and titter—
Donald’s also a lewd gossip-meister!
As the Trump train careers off the poll track,
Kellyanne gave a hint of a rollback.
Deportation? We’ll see.
That is still “TBD,”
Said the Donald’s new damage-control flak.
Saturday, August 20
Donald’s game sounds like Russian roulette.
He is six-fifty million in debt,
And his dealings are murky—
The Times finds them guesswork-y.
Does Trump tell us the truth? Answer: Nyet.
Friday, August 19
As big troubles his campaign beset
Donald teleprompts words of “regret,”
Then the next day makes Paul
On the sword duly fall.
Oh, how strange and yet stranger things get.
James Waller is Mediander’s “Deadline Limericist.” (Apologies to Calvin Trillin, The Nation’s longtime “Deadline Poet” and, in James’s opinion, a much more versatile versifier.)
Photo credit: Gage Skidmore