In his Tony-nominated one-man show Laugh Whore, comic Mario Cantone got right to the point of the beloved Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer holiday special. Imitating the gruff voice of Donner, Rudolph’s stern father, Cantone recited the sleigh puller’s response to his son’s obvious difference: “No son of mine’s gonna have a red nose!” Cantone screamed, “What he’s really saying is no son of mine’s gonna be a little faggot!” Ouch! 

Most African American people are so over Raven, but I’m not. In fact, I’m just getting started with my interest. That comment will probably have me tossed into the ever-threatening “race trade,” in which black people decide another black person isn’t worthy of being black anymore (bummer), so they announce a trade for a cool white person instead. 

I have a strange sense of humor. I don’t watch stand-up, I don’t tend to like sitcoms, and to the horror of all my friends, I hate Will Ferrell. That’s why I was surprised a couple of years ago when I caught Aziz Ansari’s Netflix stand-up special, Buried Alive, and thought it was hilarious. I understood his frustration with millennials and the oversharing of baby photos. I laughed when he talked about how strange online dating searches can be: “Jewish and my zip code!” Basically, I was a fan.

I’m not the kind of person who doesn’t complete assignments: I was the student who did all the reading; I am the reviewer who always finishes the book. But I just couldn’t see Jem and the Holograms, and not only because no one was willing to go with me or because purses are checked for guns at movie theaters in Colorado, where I live. No, I couldn’t see Jem because of the early reviews—which were terrible.

For about six hours on Wednesday morning, the internet was abuzz with news that Yelp was hitting South Park creators Matt Stone and Trey Parker with a $10 million libel lawsuit. The show’s most recent episode, “You’re Not Yelping,” had been a satirical takedown of amateur food critics who bully restaurants on the review site. The story exploded on social media, topped Google News and was even picked up by some major publications (not to name any names). Problem was, no lawsuit ever existed.